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The John Dewey Academy Parent Involvement |
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Parent Involvement |
Families coping with dysfunctional adolescents often develop secondary issues as a result of the strain. Of course, each family brings its own unique history and dynamics to the John Dewey experience. Thus, parental and family involvement is an important component of a John Dewey stay. Our ultimate mission regarding the family is to help members support the efforts of the John Dewey student to help him/herself. We focus on changing dysfunctional and dishonest communication patterns. Family members must re-negotiate their relationships with the John Dewey student and with each other. Such a process is challenging and sometimes quite painful. In addition, conflicts of interest may arise. The family, rightfully so, wants assurance that the student will eschew dangerous and self-destructive behaviors. The student, in contrast, seeks to individuate and separate in an effort to acquire a positive sense of self. Our clinical staff, always alert to this dynamic tension, works to promote health on both sides of the equation. We encourage communication between student and family. During the early days of a John Dewey stay, student telephone calls and letters are monitored by a more senior student in order to minimize attempted manipulations of the family. On occasion, communication between student and family can become toxic; in that event, staff will work with the family to limit communication until the issues have been worked through. Family therapy is thus crucial to the John Dewey Academy experience. Therapy sessions occur on an as needed basis; because most families do not live nearby, family sessions are generally held on weekends. Family participation in school life is rich and varied. Our small size and the intense nature of the John Dewey experience mean that we can include families in creative and flexible ways. For example, the entire John Dewey community gathers together to celebrate Thanksgiving on the Saturday after the traditional Thursday holiday. Because it doesn't interfere with the official holiday, our Thanksgiving is attended by most current families in the community, as well as by alumni and their families. We observe New Year's Eve with a bonfire on campus, again attended by many in the community. These two examples represent long-standing traditions within the community, but families also create their own John Dewey traditions: for example, parents may teach guest classes, or they may come on a weekend to cook meals with the students, or they may take students out on day ski trips during the winter. At the John Dewey Academy, family involvement most definitely includes siblings. Because of the demands placed on the family by the dysfunctional adolescent, siblings often harbor deep negative feelings about their family life. The expression of these feelings, and the building of new and healthier relationships between siblings, are key elements to improving family life for all members of the family. To that end, we encourage sibling visits whenever possible; and we schedule regular sibling groups in which siblings and the John Dewey student meet with a clinician. Every six weeks, parents (and siblings) meet at school for a day of group sessions. These groups, designed to foster communication and to promote growth, present an opportunity for parents to ask questions, verbalize concerns, meet and bond with other parents, and express feelings. Types of groups include: Parent Organization Meeting: Parents introduce themselves and explain who their child/student is. Parents are welcome to raise any concerns and issues. Attendance is limited to adults. Primary Group: Parents and students of each Primary (therapist) meet in a group with him or her. Siblings (generally age 12 or over) are welcome to participate. Divorced Parent's Group: All divorced parents meet with a clinician to discuss the issues specific to divorced parents. Mother's Group: All mothers meet to discuss the issues specific to mothers. A female clinician attends to facilitate the process. Father's Group: All fathers meet to discuss the issues specific to fathers. A male clinician attends to facilitate the process. Sibling's Group: Students and siblings (generally age 12 and over) meet with a clinician to work on repairing and strengthening sibling relationships. New Parent's Group: Parents of students at the school less than six months meet with the Parent Liaison/President of the Parent Organization and the parent in charge of welcoming new parents to discuss orientation and adjustment issues; a clinician may be present to facilitate the process. Intergenerational Group: Each family member attends a different group led by one of the Primaries. Siblings are welcome to participate. An active Parent Organization provides support to all JDA families. Over the years, this group has become an important element of parent experience at John Dewey. Parents maintain frequent contact via telephone and email, sharing both tough times and triumphs. Such efforts have proved so useful that the parents have set up informal Mom's and Dad's groups that meet for dinner (generally in New York City) to discuss issues and share experiences. Many alumni parents attend these dinners in order to help newer parents with their orientation to the JDA community. Alumni parents may also attend Parent Meetings at school, as well as other traditional JDA occasions (Graduation, Winter Bonfire, Thanksgiving). The involvement of alumni parents in community outreach is a testament to their deep commitment to the school. Those wishing to speak with an alumni parent should contact the President of the Parent Organization. |